Possession is nine-tenths of the law

An odd statement you might think, but a very true one.

When people separate it is ugly and messy. Usually no thought or planning has gone into it, beyond the where will I live and shall I take the cat or dog. The step to leave is such a big one, in most cases, and when it is taken is taken hurriedly and without forward thinking and or really appreciating the effect leaving someone will have on them on a short and long term basis.  

Why, you might ask, is it important to plan and exactly what should be planned? Is it not enough to simply leave and start afresh? Maybe, however, at some stage people stop and analyse what they have done and realise they really should have taken the large photo of aunt Muriel in her wedding dress, or the antique grandfather clock inherited from great uncle George and it is at that point it will be too late to go and get it.

As the heading states, possession is nine-tenths of the law, which in practical terms means that whatever you are able to take with you at separation will be it.  

This might not matter we hear you say, and it might not, but then again it might.

It is not only sentimental items or furniture you need to think about, but there are documents, such as financial records, you may wish you had taken, particularly when your lawyer asks you for copies of these.

Again, we can hear you sigh and lament lawyers make things so complicated, and we might, but, these things are important.  

A lot of money, your money, is spent by lawyers embarking on the path of discovery. In non legal terms asking for financial disclosure. Think how much simpler and cheaper it would be if you had a set of financial records to give to your lawyer at the start. Naturally this is assuming you and your spouse kept records and those records are easily accessible to both of you. This is not an invitation to embark on a break and enter mission by the way.

Then there are the more personal things like photos, cd’s, dvd’s and other sentimental items you think you will get later. Later, may never come. Again, legal letters on these issues are costly and rarely achieve anything. How easy is it for the other side to simply claim they have been taken already, or will not be made available pending you fulfilling some demand from your ex spouse.

We can see you smile and think something like what a load of nonsense, I will simply go and get these things myself, after all we own the former matrimonial home together. Yes, that might be a way to do it, but don’t be surprised if the lock has been changed and access is denied. The last thing you want is to find yourself embroiled in the criminal justice system as well as the Family Law jurisdiction.

The most effective thing you can do is work out what the essential things are that you want to take with you at separation and do so.

Remember  - Possession is nine-tenths of the law!