Leaving a violent relationship

Family Violence

The Family Law Act 1979 defines family violence as follows:

1) For the purposes of this Act, family violence means violent, threatening or other behaviour by a person that coerces or controls a member of the person’s family, or causes the family member to be
fearful.

2) Examples of behaviour that may constitute family violence include (but are not limited to):

            (a) an assault; or

            (b) a sexual assault or other sexually abusive behaviour; or

            © stalking; or

            (d) repeated derogatory taunts; or

            (e) intentionally damaging or destroying property; or

            (f) intentionally causing death or injury to an animal; or

(g) unreasonably
denying the family member the financial autonomy that he or she would otherwise
have had;

(h) unreasonably withholding financial support needed to meet the reasonable living expenses of the family member or his or her child, at a time when eh family member is
entirely or predominantly dependent on the person for financial support.

(i) preventing the family member from making or keeping connections with his or her family,
friends, or culture;

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4ab.html

(above link provides full definition of family violence)

Leaving a violent relationship

Separating from your partner can be difficult at the best of times, let alone separating from a partner who has perpetrated family violence on you, which can seem impossible to do.

Often people stay in violent relationships longer than is necessary because they cannot see a way out. The fear of the unknown is greater than the fear of the violence. Of course family violence
does not only have to be physical violence, as is evident from reading the definition section of the Family Law Act, and can take many forms, some more subtle than others.

Things to consider

An immediate concern might be where do you live and how do you support yourself (this is particularly so for people who have the care of the children). These considerations may take some time to work
out, but remember preparation is the key to a successful separation.  

Financial Assistance

Planning how you leave will be absolutely essential. Try and be as prepared as you can be. If you do not have access to joint funds see centrelink before you leave your partner to see if you are eligible for centrelink payments. You may be surprised to learn that you might also qualify for rent assistance or some other type of emergency payment. Broadly speaking financial assistance may be in the form of:

1.   
Crisis/emergency payments;

2.   
Single parent payments;

3.   
Income support payments;

4.   
Unemployment payments;

5.   
Rental assistance.

You are also entitled to make an application for spousal maintenance to the family court (federal circuit court - family law jurisdiction), particularly if your ex spouse is gainfully employed or runs his/her own business. Unfortunately this can be costly, but if you can demonstrate need and an ability to pay (by
your ex) your ex may also be liable for your legal fees. You should consult with a solicitor about a spousal maintenance application to discuss prospects of success.

Where to live

Once you have sorted out a means to support yourself (and possible the children), work out where you are going to live. This may largely depend on what you can afford. People do not like to be a burden on others so you may not like the option of living with friends or relatives. You should not dismiss it outright, particularly if it was a short term measure and provided you with the opportunity to move out sooner rather than later. If people offer to help you they do so willingly.

If you are having difficulty in getting a rental application approved do not be afraid to get a solicitor to provide a letter to an estate agent setting out your circumstance. Sometimes being honest can help secure a rental property.

What to take

Once you have a place to live make sure you pack essential things you want to take from the house. You may only have a small window of opportunity to get organized without your partner knowing what you are doing. Remember once you leave the home it is unlikely that you will return, so you will only get one chance to take as many things as you want. Make the most of it.

When deciding what to take be practical and remember things like financial documents, important papers and photos. Many a family law dispute includes one party wanting photos and the other not making them available.

Protecting yourself

If you are really worried about your safety you should consider an intervention order (apprehended domestic violence order in NSW) for your protection. The police can issue an emergency intervention order on your behalf for a short period of time until the first court date. At the mention date there may be a short hearing before the Magistrate will grant the intervention order pending final hearing (unless your ex simply consents to its making). A longer intervention order can be applied for at a final hearing.

Final words

The words of wisdom provided here will not cover all your questions about your particular situation. There are many organizations set up to help you, you just need to go and speak to them.

Don’t’ be afraid to get some legal advice.
If you cannot afford to pay a solicitor you could see a lawyer at one of the
many community legal centers. Dedicated and capable volunteer solicitors, who
will be able to provide you with advice with respect to your unique
circumstance, man these places.