We only live together

If you have been through a painful and costly divorce you may not want to repeat the experience ever again. And who could blame you?

Unfortunately though, simply living together with someone may not necessarily protect you from further heartache, nor your hip pocket should things not work out.

Since 2009 the Family Court now also has jurisdiction to hear property disputes between de-facto couples. It pays to look at the definition of de-facto to be absolutely clear what you may have to disprove or prove in future court proceedings.

You can find the definition of a de-fcto couple here.

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4aa.html

It will not surprise you to learn that these days many people argue they were not in a de-facto relationship before they even argue about what is a fair property settlement.

So, is the answer not living together with this new found love of your life to avoid court proceedings and argument about how much the other person is worth if it all ends?

No, that will not necessarily protect you either. If you look at the definition of a de-facto relationship, living together is only one of the things the court will take into consideration. A de-facto relationship may still exist based on the other considerations, such as the duration of the relationship, if a sexual relationship existed, the degree of financial interdependence and the reputation and public aspect of the relationship, to name but a few.

Practically this means it is possible for a marriage and de-facto relationship to co-exist (perhaps not in harmony or with the other person being aware of it).

We understand this is not welcome news to someone who has been burnt once, but it is critical you know what to expect going forward in a new relationship.

There are some who believe in signing a pre nup before living together, but that is another topic for another day.

On a philosophical note, if you have fallen in love again and part of you feels like you have jumped off the cliff, enjoy the free fall. You never know, it might work out this time.

Perhaps you will take some comfort in the following:

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/62650.html